The song ain't that great.. But that's exactly how I feel right now.. and for the past few days.. and it won't change ever.
"I've got so much love.. for you darling.."
Remember the time I first saw you? Not in 5th grade, but the time you came to Bombay? A railway platform does sound filmy, but I couldn't take my eyes off you when you got down that damned train! I actually stopped walking.. and you came running towards me to give me a hug! And that stupid backpack of yours didn't let me hold you back :-( And the way you looked into my eyes and smiled .. :-)
"And I.. I wanna let you know how I feel.. "
This reminds me of the time when we were walking down the platform after you ''flashed that smile" of yours. And when I pushed you back for not telling me that you planned the surprise visit. And when we were standing in the line for the ticket, I realized you were really tall and handsome. Not dark though :P And I only wanted to stand by your side and let the world know that you're my tall man.
"And it's true that I love you.. And it's true that you're the only one.. "
I am not going into details. But the auto ride to the hostel :) Probably, that's when I fell in love with you all over again. And when u made me wait for an hour and a half, I wasn't angry or irritated. Little did you know, that I already went a had a burger in those 1.5 hours :P But yeah, I loved waiting for you to return.
"And I do, I adore you"
The lunch, the beach .. Now none of us would ever be able to forget even a millisecond of those times. The adorable smile, the adorable arms, the adorable hair, the adorable love you showered on me. And the way you felt bad about not taking me out for dinner. And even adorable was the fact that you didn't wanna ditch your friends. The most adorable part of the day was the look on your face when I left..
"And it's true.. You make feel ALI-I-I-IVE "
Yes, you do mister."You say that, say that I'm the only one,
You say that I'm your number one..
Now you're gone, And I feel numb,
Tell me how did we go wrong.."
What to do! I do feel like this! Only thing is that I know where we went wrong.. But hey, remember the next day? Again, I was waiting for u.. at the bus stop, this time. You walked in, with your friends. And how amazing a time it was in the amusement park. The rides.. kinda like our relationship. Up and down, up and down.. but still going strong! The maze, where I got lost! The funny mirrors, the ferry, the cotton candy :P I feel numb now, cos you ain't there by my side. And how the hell did we go wrong! How! Us! My friends tell me that it is unbelievable to hear!
"You were my best friend and boyfriend..
Now it seems like you're my worst friend!
I gotta do soul searching..
Without you I'm a whole different person.."
You still are a good friend, I know you'll be there anytime I need you. But you do know it will be different right? You're not my worst friend. I just wish there was no phrase like "things change, people change, scenarios change." It's a little annoying. Just like the time we got back from the ferry, the auto guy annoyed us by charging extra. And how much we waited for a bus to come!
And soul searching? Well, it's still intact, just a little hazy now. Without you, I'm a whole different person.. Completely in a different world. Constant smiling, non-stop chattering.. Sheer bliss! :)
"I ain't acting like I used to,
I don't feel loved like I used to..
It was your love I was used to.."
It was your love I was used to.."
Yes, yes and yes. But it's just for the time being. Like you said, something good has to come out of this right? You pampered me to the core. It was always about ''my favourite food, my favourite place, my favourite cookie!" Wasn't required at all. I just got so accustomed to all that.
My love, you've brought me back to my senses now.
"Why did I have to lose.. Your love, your love, your love..
Your love is what it was, that had me feeling buzzed..
You are my true love!"
Umm, I did enjoy the pampering. But to clear the air, I wasn't very fond of it. I even mentioned it to you once. When you were more than ready to give me something I would have never thought of, I declined the offer (The Body Shop, I mean :P) Lol, but honestly, I miss all that. It's never gonna happen again, I know. But I miss it.
"And it's true that I love you.. And it's true that you're the only one..
And I do, I adore you..
And it's true.. You make feel ALI-I-I-IVE "
Not that I never pampered you at all! :P "First I want this, then that.. and then that" Yes, yes, you got everything. I really loved doing all that for you. The following day, I made you lunch. I could have watched you eat all my life. And the way you looked into my eyes.. Ahh. I adore you.
You made me feel like I was finally sent to Earth for a purpose, you made me feel alive :)
"And I feel bad that I had to lose you,
I got so many things that I wanna say..
I guess this means that I'm missing you,
Sorry for the things that I did to you..
I'm so lost without you.."
Of course. I miss you, I miss you all the time. The time you fed me, the time we got thrown out, the time we had the most romantic dinner ever, they are all so distinct in my memory. And I'm sorry it had to turn out this way. Though I tried to make it better. I'm sorry for us. I'm a little lost without you .. But I'm gonna be really optimistic and say, we'll be together someday :)
"And it's true that I love you.. And it's true that you're the only one.. "
And I do, I adore you..
And it's true.. You make feel ALI-I-I-IVE"
And I do, I adore you..
And it's true.. You make feel ALI-I-I-IVE"
I'll listen to what you say. I'll forget the way it ended and remember only the glorious two years we had.So -
"You make me feel ALI-I-I-IVE"
The memories make me feel alive.
"So easy to fall in love with you,
And all the things that you do..
You are so remarkable..
You're special, you're wonderful.. "
I can't help but smile when I think of you, when I think of us. We indeed had a great time.
I don't know if you'll ever read this. But this one's for you, Ambuj.
You are being missed.
And being loved unconditonally :)
